Always with good intention.....
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If you have noticed, I have not done any type of New Year resolutions or even any New Years goals. I did look back to last years wishes (which at the time are referred to as resolutions/goals). That�s about all the reflective action that I have decided to take at this time. I feel like I am in the same place I was last year. Still needing to lose weight, still wanting to leave CA., still wanting to pursue me a PhD (no that was not unintentional grammatical error), still not wanting to be so damn broke, nothing has changed other than my age. If I look at my long-term goals, I am supposed to be Dr. Pearl by the time I am 30. That is a little less than 5 years away. Meaning if I want to see it happen, it has got to happen NOW. But since I have not even begin to take the steps toward that 1 long term goal meaning, I have not decided on a concentration (social work {again}, public health, health administration or counseling), I have not picked a school (mainly because I don�t know which concentration area to pursue), I have not begin studying for the dreaded GRE, I have not taken the necessary classes needed to get into a School of Public Health (i.e. epidemiology, biological stats, and other complicated ass science classes needed) if I decide to go that route. Ideally, I would love to pursue a PhD in Public Health with a concentration in community health education focusing primarily on the health disparity of African Americans. Only problem is, I don�t meet the requirements to get into the public health schools and I really, really am not interested in the taking the classes needed to get into the public health schools (see above classes that I will likely never use in real life but will be forced to take {and probably fail} because public health people insist that the classes will be important for all public health pursuers regardless of their primary objective). With all this uncertainty, I am left with �..more uncertainty. Complicated, I know. How bout some good news. Dogg (I may have to find a better name for him) and I have been chit chatting quite a bit. I try not to make judgments about people based on what others say. Rie told me some really discerning things about Dogg (things from his past) but I am trying to overlook them. I have been doing a pretty good job of it. I actually forgot for a while what his past occupation was. The only thing that is bugging the hell out of me are the kids. We had a �date� planed for Saturday evening. It was really last minute and before we could even finalize a time to meet he called to tell me that he forgot that he had already made plans to pick up his son. I think that it is great that he is actually spending time with his kids, but I hate that I got put on hold (yes, I am a selfish, self absorbed person. Hence the reason I DO NOT HAVE KIDS!) This is the main reason why I am not crazy about dating men with kids. I want everything to be about me (at least 90% of the time) and when you date men with kids (who are actually good fathers) you rarely even get a good 50% of their time. Good intentions are just that. I had a well thought out update and started on that path around 9:30 or so this morning. I got side tracked, became unorganized and my good intention became a scattered mess�.4 hours or so later I ended up with this entry! Maybe tomorrow, I will go for something a little less schizo. |
1:56 p.m. || January 10, 2005 |
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Moving day - October 08, 2007 |