a new day....
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So, my weekend sucked, how was yours? Originaly when I came across the diaryland site, i was little hesitant to sign up mainly because of failed attempts to keep a written diary in the past. But I luv to get my thoughts out of my head and there are some things that i just cant tell people. When i decided to started keeping this diary i instantly knew that i would use it as a way to track my weight loss progress. so i typed my first entry, submitted and moved on to read another diary. later that same day, i came back to read my own diary and i was so disgusted by my own self-hate. true i have had a weight problem damn near all my life, true i have been on countless diet, taken pills, shakes, and tried starvation because i am so desperate to lose weight, but in that whole entry that i spent 30 minutes perfecting not one sentence was positive. not one. I was so hurt by my own words that i decided to start over. which is why one of my diarys says "my first entry...sort of". Just like that i gave up, i went and created a whole new screen name and evrything and started this diary. I realized that thats what i do, i get frustrated with myself and i give up. just like im almost ready to give up on looking for a job in my field even though i spent 5.5 years in school perfecting my skill (sigh). well, im not giving up this time. im going to make myself stick to something that i want badly....to lose weight. I say that now and later today im going to get that mcdonalds crave...or mexican food...mmmmmmm but i gotta do it and im gonna do it one day at a time. but unlike other diaryland users, i refuse to let my whole diary be about my weight. although it is a big issue in my life, it is not my only issue and there is so much more to me. i really do luv me (most of the time) im just dissatisfied with certain parts of me. I think if i never lose a pond but just felt healthy, looked healthy, and toned up a bit i would be happy with me. thats my new goal...to be HEALTHY. im not gonna diet NO MORE!!! my goal this week: 1. not to eat any fast food 2. walk the hood at least 3 times. more is good but minimum of 3 times for one hour. 3. drink lots and lots of water. 4. no food past 7pm only water. 5. take multi-vitamin daily Okay im gonna stop there other wise this will start to sound like a diet instead of healthy plan. So here i go wish me luck :)
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7:53 a.m. || 2003-03-03 |
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Moving day - October 08, 2007 |