can it get any worse?
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So here i am....my last day at CPL....im kinda happy about it, but at the same time discouraged and frustrated that i dont have a permanent job. This week was hard...of course I have adopted the more "healthy lifestyle" so no McDOnalds all week :) and that was hard cuz i luv the #3 breakfast. I only fell off the bandwagon once and that was on Wednesday (everything bad happend on Wednesday...i need to look up my horoscope for that day). A new movie theater opend so me M and J went (we got in free with canned goods)but of course we bought popcorn and sodas and went to Dennys after the movie. But it was fun. I have walked everyday this week so far except on Wednesday so I reached a few of my goals set this week. On a more sad note....on wednesday i found out that i was not accepted to TFA. I was crushed, i even cried myself to sleep that night. i could not believe it...that was my backup plan just in case i did not get the internship. So now i want that internship hella bad...more so than ever before. The economy sucks right now for my profession and with this damn war thing probly wont get any better. So i need this internship...! Im so scared im going to get stuck here in Sac. I wish now that i would not have came back but oh well...i was broke and had to go some where. Since this was my last week at work, i been bullshittin all week. I been chattin and looking for jobs. The chattin thing is a lot of fun too. And since i posted my pic...i get soooo many complimants which is real eager booster...especially since i been feelin like shit lately. On Tuesday i met some guy online that lives in NC. He seems cool so far and we been chattin it up the last couple of days...is it possible to have a slight crush on sombody you have never seen in person and have never formaly met? This is so odd cause i actually look forward to getting on the computer at night just to chat with him. Normaly i would be in bed by 10:00...but i been staying up at night to chat because he works at night and thats when he is on the computer. This is so crazy... I did tell him a slight fib...he asked if i ever met anyone that i chatted with i said yes (which is the truth) he asked how it was and i said ok. and that was it. I left out the part that me and EK (who i met online)dated for like 10 months. and that he even came to cali and met half my family. I really thought we would be together a whole lot longer... I dont know why im so embarrased about how we met especially since online dating is the "thing to do" nowadays. Even when me and EK were together...we never told how we really met. We just said that we met at a gas station...which was not a real lie. The first time we saw each other face to face was at a gas station. But i am to damn cute and got to much going for me to say that i have to resort to the internet. But hell...aint no descent men in the clubs so the men i met online cant possible be any worse...can they? Speaking of EK.....he e-mailed me on Wednesday...i have not talked to him since i left michigan in december. I have not responded yet because i am so embarrased at the fact that i have no job. He assumes that i am on my shit all the time and that i have some big hot shot job. ((Oh please....if there is really a GOD up there please, please let me get this intership. )) I will definetly be in Church on Sunday. I dont know how to tell him that im a loser who just lost the temp job she had for the last two months. Then he just had to rub in the fact that he has two job offers...like i give a damn. I can tell he is still tryin to prove that he has his life together in hopes of us getting back together. *Sorry....it aint going to happen* EK..u proved u were crazy as hell to me and i will never forget the shit u did...im glad your getting help but i am just not the women for u. I think i will wait to e-mail EK back....i just cant do it yet. Okay that's enough for today...im headin off to chat my day away. WHY IM I TRYIN TO PROVE THAT I AM A SUCCESS?...cuz i want respect! WHO AM I TRYIN TO IMPRESS? ...THE WORLD...as if it gives a damn about me! |
7:37 a.m. || 2003-03-07 |
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Moving day - October 08, 2007 |