it it a choice? a chance? or a clue?
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Last month sometime I went to my local grocer right after I had just spent an hour and a half sweating my ass of at the gym. As you can imagine, my short hair was standing all over my head and I was looking a little flushed from working out so hard. I was feeling good but smelling like a sweaty ass gym. I needed a few things for lunch and dinner for the week and I was in hurry, which was partly the reason I chose this particular Safeway. I don�t usually shop at Safeway. Although it�s very close to my house and has good produce, I typically go to the ghetto ass Food 4 Less for most items because it�s cheaper. I suffer through the long ass lines and the ghetto hood rats and all the ghetto hood rat kids just to save a few dollars. But this particular night I was in no mood to deal with hood that frequents Food 4 Less. I zipped around the store grabbing the items I needed and proceeded to the shortest check out line. I noticed the checker. He was brown skin cutie with beautiful eyes and a cute smile. He has new dreads that despite needing to be touched up, looked good on Him. We made light conversation, which turned flirtatious as He scanned my items. When He was done, He handed me my receipt that happened to have my name on the bottom. He thanked me personally by calling Ms. Pearl. Then told me I saved X amount of dollars. As I wheeled my cart off towards the exit, He asked for my number. I smiled shyly and told Him maybe next time. Of course, on my way home, I was floating on cloud 10. My ego has taken a slight bruising over the last few months and I needed someone to notice me for an added boost of confidence. Of course, I never expected it to be right after a hard workout when I was looking and smelling a little rough. It had been nearly a month. I had been back to Safeway a few times, but I avoided His line. I was nervous. I didn�t want to put myself in a situation in which I would jeopardize the relationship I have been working so hard trying to maintain. So I chose to avoid Him. Last night, I got a little bold. After my workout, I went to Safeway. And after getting my items, I got in His line. I waited patiently as He checked out the customers ahead of me. I was watching Him. He must have sensed it and he looked up. I smiled shyly and embarrassingly for getting caught staring at Him. When it was my turn, He asked where I had been. I told Him I had been around. I used the excuse that His line was always so long so I would just go to the shortest one. He asked if that was the reason I got in His line tonight --because it was short. I smiled and said yes. Truthfully, I stood in His line for Him. But I would have never admitted it. He completed checking my items and bagging them, as I swiped my debit card, He got a glance at my drivers� license. He asked about my name. I told Him how to properly pronounce it, and then I told Him what everyone calls me. I waited for Him to ask for the number again. I was prepared this time and I wanted Him to have it. But he never asked. A little devastated, I wheeled my groceries to the car. On my way home, I thought about Him. I wanted to know more about Him. Does He really make a living checking groceries? Or was this a part-time gig while He finishes up school or something? I was curious to know more about Him. I thought seriously about turning my car around and going back to the store and begging the security guard to slip Him my number. But I am chicken shit and I was in a hurry to get home. In the less then 5 minutes it took for me to get home, I came up with an even better idea. I got home and unloaded my groceries. I got on the Internet and found the phone number to the Safeway. I called the store and asked to speak to Him. As I waited for Him to pick up the phone, I got nervous. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell would I say if he really did come to the phone? Just as I had talked myself into hanging up, someone picked up the phone. I was relieved it wasn�t Him. Instead the young lady said that He was on the register and could not come to the phone. She asked to take a message. I left her with my name and phone number to give to Him. And now I wonder if He got the message. If He will call. If I will feel like a loser the next time I go into Safeway because he got the message and decided He was no longer interested. I also wonder about my decision to give my number to another man. Perhaps my actions will serve as a hint to what may be the future of my current relationship. |
4:40 p.m. || March 14, 2006 |
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