How quickly the good times fade
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My first full week of cohabitation is not going as smoothly as I had hoped. Sunday evening as Mr. Man and I sat at the dinning room table, I very politely suggested he remove the pictures of his ex-girlfriend from the dinning room buffet. Normally, I ignored the framed picture as best I could. Now that we are officially living together and I see the picture on a daily basis, I was beginning to have a hard time looking at the picture whenever I sat down to eat or passed by the buffet. Mr. Man responded by saying this was his house and he could do what he wanted (ok, so he wasn�t so rude about it but nonetheless it sent me into a crying frenzy). When I stopped crying long enough to talk and not choke on my words, I asked him where was my house?? Although it may seem as though I moved from MY apartment into his home effortlessly, in reality I struggled. I struggled with the idea of giving up my own space, my independence and most importantly the idea that no longer will I rely solely on myself for my every day necessities. Now, I rely on Mr. Man to ensure that we have electricity, a roof over our heads and a safe place to call home. Though I am completely aware that indeed I am living in Mr. Man�s house, I am of the understanding that it is now OUR HOME. I tried to convey that to him as best I could. I think he understands but now I suddenly feel like an intruder. Once we got past Sunday night, everything was fine. We are in the middle of planning a last minute Vegas vacation for the end of the month (Me and Rie�s NY plans got canceled L). Last night our happy bliss seemed to have taken a sudden nosedive. After our one on one time ended, exhaustion kicked in and we quickly fell asleep only to be awakened by the telephone at around 11:30pm. It was Mr. Man�s ex girlfriend�s daughter on the other end. Apparently, Mr. Man�s ex and the daughter got into a huge fight and the ex left the house but did not take her cell phone. The daughter called Mr. Man worried and wondering if the ex had came by the house. One thing that I love about Mr. Man is his caring and compassionate heart. Which is why I was not surprised when at around 12:00 am he asked my if I would mind if he went to go look for Kerry (the ex-girlfriend). He thought he might now where Kerry went and he wanted to go check and make sure she was okay. I waited nearly 5 minutes before I answered his question. It was a question I struggled with. But I knew I could not give a yes or no answer. Instead I told him to do whatever it is that he would want me to do if the situation was reversed. I didn�t like the idea of sending my man out to rescue his ex in the middle of the night but I could understand his reasons in ensuring his ex was safe and okay. Mr. Man never left the bed. Instead, he tossed and turned and huffed and puffed. Finally, I left the bed and headed towards MY couch. That is were I remanded for the rest of the night. This morning, I was greeted with a cold stare instead of Mr. Man�s warm smile followed by �good morning, baby� that is typically repeated at least twice while I prepare for my day. The usual multi conversations we have during the day have ceased. The happiness I usually feel just before heading home to him is gone. I am relieved to have gotten all this off my chest, yet I am left to wonder if I have just moved into a huge mistake. |
3:46 p.m. || July 14, 2005 |
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Moving day - October 08, 2007 |