Addicted....
|
Yes, this is my second entry today. But I just had to share this with all my "friends". I�m addicted. Not to alcohol. Not to sex. Not to drugs. (I�m drug free and proud to be) Not to fine black men that smell scrumptious. Not to food. Not clothes. Not to caffeine. And not even to shopping. My addiction started about 7 months ago. I was surfin the web and came across this website that seemed really interesting. It had a bunch of different people that shared thoughts, ideas and problems. I noticed that some of the community mebers were experiencing many of the same problems I was having. I had the option of joining the website...but hesitated. I knew that once I joined the website, I would have to be committed to participating. I was not sure if I was really up to the challenge. I had embarked on several attempts to participate in similar activities in the past and often made very little progress. I was also worried about joining this online community because I was worried about what other people would think about me. I mean this online community was different. People really opened up and shared their problems and concerns. I was afraid that I would not really be able to express myself for fear of rejection or that I would not fit in. I knew that if I joined that I would get the support and encouragement that I needed to make it through this journey we call Life. I was hoping that through my thoughts and words, maybe I could be an encouragement to others who were experiencing similar atrocities. After much thought and debate within myself, I decided to take a chance. I joined the online community. It has been a long 7 months. But the other community members have really been supportive. I now depend on this community everyday. All day long thoughts about the website are in my head. I often wonder about the people that are out there that I have never meet but know so much about. I wonder if I met them...would they really like me?? Many of us have a lot in common. Though they may not know it...many of the other member are my bestfriends. Some of them know more about me than the people I see and talk to everyday. I often wake up in the middle of the night and think about logging on to see if any of my "friends" are having sleepless nights too. When I get bored at work, I go to my "friends" to entertain me. When I wanna vent, I go to my "friends" and they listen. When I have good news, bad news or no news, my "friends" are there. They have helped me evaluate the meaning of my life and recognize that my problems are not mine alone and indeed they are struggling through similar life lessons. I didn�t realize how much I depended on my new "friends" until recently. I really can�t imagine my life without them right now. They have provided me with so much emotional support that now I depend on them for that extra push in the ass that I sometimes need. I hate this uncontrollable feeling. I feel like I have to get my daily fix of my "friends". Sometimes I have to get two, or three, and even four fixes a day. I don�t think it�s healthy to be this consumed by a freakin website. But I am. What�s really scary is I don�t think that there is a cure or even a 12-step program for my addiction.
Hi, My name is Blackpearl....
and I�m addicted to Diaryland! |
2:02 p.m. || August 20, 2003 |
Navigate
|
current |
THE GIRL
|
.... |
LAST 5
|
Moving day - October 08, 2007 |