Mr. Right....where are you???
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Entry #2...as usual I'm at work bored and now anxious. The best advice I ever received: "Waiting for Mr. Right, Meanwhile having a great time with Mr. Wrong" Those are words I live by. I am very picky when it comes to men (I think I deserve to be). I mean is it really too much to ask for a guy who does not have a bunch of kids by a bunch of different women, a man that has his own place and is not mooching off his Momma, a man that has an education, has his head on straight, is working towards his goals in life (which don�t include being a famous rap star), a man that knows how to please a women inside and outside the bedroom, someone who does not drink excessively and does not smoke. It�s no wonder that when I meet men that meet my criteria, I latch on to them. I did it to Bro. A. That was until he showed his true colors. Even the men that meet my criteria have their downfalls, which cause even them to be eliminated from Blackpearls book of hopefuls. Ahhh�I miss Bro. A. Okay I�m over that. D is the new flavor of the month. It was not until J-mac�s visit that I realized how damn lonely I am. I was content with being by myself. I had gotten used to sleeping alone (sometimes I actually prefer it) But once J-mac left, I immediately missed having somebody to wake up next to, somebody to go to the movies with, somebody to cook for, somebody just being their making me feel all warm and fuzzy. I�m still crazy about J-mac but since we have this distance thing between us and I refuse to sit on my ass and wait for a man to decide I am worth the distance, It�s time for me to explore other options. Okay okay, so I have been exploring other options. It�s just that there are so few options and most of the other options SUCK which is why I always fall back on my J-mac crutch. But I�m hopeful. D seems cool. We have been e-mailing each other back and forth today. We are supposed to meet up after work. Ohh� hold on I just got another e-mail from him. Ok I�m back. Sometimes I feel like I am jumping the gun a bit. I should not get my hopes up because I hate being let down. All I want right now is someone who I can hang out with, someone who I can do a little local traveling with, and someone to just keep me company when I get bored. I�m not really looking for a boyfriend or a designated hitter. Too many feelings involved in both. But the latter would be nice if I could just figure out how not to get too attached. I'm a little anxious. This will actually be the first time D and I have seen each other since we met on Saturday. And as usual, those damn "what-if's" are at it again. Wish me luck. |
2:25 p.m. || November 12, 2003 |
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