I'm still waiting....
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Yes, I have been MIA for a week. No, I don�t want to talk about it. So let�s move on to something that is not going to involve me talking about my feelings. I have been feeling like shit lately, partly because I have not been going to the gym and partly because I have a lot on my mind (I said I didn�t want to talk about it). Saturday morning I woke up watched some cartoons, made me some grits and got back in the bed. I eventually got tired and bored sitting in the bed so I decided to go and run some little errands. Just before I left the house, Ty called to see if wanted to hang out that night. Despite the fact that I knew I would be the fifth wheel, (Ty and her B/f and Stac and her B/f) I agreed to go out with them. I was hoping the magic b/f potion would rub off on me or at least the guys would bring along a cute friend. We all know that I am one of those shallow chics that does give a damn about her looks. I rarely walk out the house without some makeup or at least some shiny lipgloss on. You will never, I repeat NEVER see me in the streets with sweats on. I don�t care if I am just going to the grocery store sweats are not my kind of fashion statement (excluding those cute new velour ones). When I got up to run my errands, I just threw on a pair of jeans (which I was happily surprised still fit considering I have not worn them since last year), and a sweater. I pulled my time-to-take-them-out-braids back in a ponytail, put on a little eyeliner, mascara and lip-gloss and I was out the door. I didn�t look totally horrible, but I didn�t look my best either. I have pretty much given up trying to meet decent men out here anyways so I don�t even try anymore. Of course it�s those time when you don�t try that you meet somebody. I was at this shoe store, once again loathing over the shoes that I want but can�t get, when I spotted this cutie. We walked past each other, he said hi, I said hi, and we went our separate ways. I assumed since he was in the ladies section that he was there with someone so I moved on to the next row of shoes. I tried to make it look like I was not keeping one eye on him while I was still shopping. I was actually trying to see if he was their with another women. Every time I looked his direction, he was looking at me. I just smiled and kept on shopping. I looked down at a pair of shoes for a few seconds and when I looked up, the cutie was gone. I decided that it was time to make my exit from the store. I was hoping maybe the cutie had not gotten that much of a head start and that maybe I would "accidentally" bump into him in the parking lot. Just my luck, the cutie was standing right in front of the store when I walked out the store. He smiled at me again...but that was it. I started walking towards my car thinking this is what I get for walking out the house looking like a bum. Just when I gave up hope, he spoke. I had to look around to make sure he was talking to me. We did the whole introduction thing, his d�land name is going to be D although I much rather call him PBE (pretty brown eyes). He has eyes similar to mine, you know that reddish brown color, but for some reason his eyes seemed to stand out a little more, maybe because of his PBS (pretty brown skin). D and I stood in front of the shoe store for at least 20 minutes just talking. I started feeling so self-conscious because I knew I looked a mess. I had on very little makeup and after I left my house I noticed that my jeans had a stain on them (which is why I have not worn them since last year) and my braids looked crazy. I was actually supposed to take my braids down on Saturday but decided to hold off a day since I was supposed to be going out that night. I was surprised that someone would even make an attempt to talk to me the way I was looking. Here are the known stats on D: He is 30 a bit older but just how I like em�. He has a job (he gave me his business card). He has a car. Ok so I don�t know much yet, but I�m working on it. After standing in front of the store for a while I started thinking maybe D was waiting for someone to pick him up. He must have noticed me searching for some crazed black women to pull up any minute and threaten to beat my ass because I was talking to her man. He eased my apprehension by letting me know that he was just killing time while waiting for his car to get new tires at the service shop next door. (sigh of relief). D called me later that night to see where me and my friends would be going. Since it started raining, we changed our minds about going out. D sounded a little disappointed that I had chosen to spend my Saturday night at home. Now I�m playing the waiting game. I�m waiting for him to call me (again) because I don�t have the balls to call him. I don�t want to appear to anxious or desperate. Maybe I will send him a e-mail. Or maybe I will just continue to wait. See, know wasn�t this a much batter entry than me bitching, crying and complaining about J-mac??? Oh, don�t get the wrong idea, we had a great weekend together, which is why I�m in such a funk. Maybe I will try to explain it to you when it actually makes sense to me. |
10:16 a.m. || November 10, 2003 |
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