Bah-Fucking-Humbug
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Today is the big day. Little Bro. Is graduating from college. I wish I could be there. Instead, I�m at work miserable and tired. I have so much work to do and absolutely no motivation to do it. I�m feeling a little better, but I still have this awful smokers cough and a constant runny nose. It�s not easy working two jobs. I no longer get to look forward to getting off work and going home, curling up under the covers and immersing myself in the television. I�m missing all my favorite shows. The job is kinda boring. I read stories written by 4th graders about their favorite vacation for 5 hours�ok really for 4 hours and 45 minutes. The company is nice enough to give us a 15-minute break. It�s just enough time to raid the coffee machine and use the bathroom. But after break is over, it�s back to the meat locker. I guess I should stop complaining. After all, I�m doing this job by choice. There are some people who have to work two jobs just to make ends meet. The bad part is I am so driven by money that I am even willing to give up part of my weekend to work. They are offering weekend hours and I didn�t hesitate to put my name on the list. Crazy huh??? I just keep telling myself when I get that first check it will be all worth it. I haven�t started Christmas shopping. I�m just not motivated and I have not really had the time. But really it�s because I�m not motivated. Everytime I attempt to go to a mall or the story all I can think about is me and how much I need this or that. Selfish, I know. I have not been to the gym in who knows how long. When was the last time I complained about going to the gym October??? Yeah, that�s probably the last time I have been. Lack of working out is starting to show. I know I complained about not losing any weight but now I look at myself in the mirror and I am noticing that I�m getting flabby again. So at least when I was at the gym I was toning up even if I wasn�t losing weight. And even more importantly, Im offically wasting $36 a month. My little apartment is a mess. I have a weeks worth of dishes in the sink, two weeks worth of clothes in the hallway and in my room and three garbage cans full of trash that needs to be taken out. I finally went grocery shopping yesterday during my lunch break. I need to wash my hair. My Mom is expecting me to go by her house to check the mail and water the plants. So much shit to do, so little time. J-mac is mad at me cause he thinks I�m purposely not calling and that I don�t care that he is grieving. Are you wondering about D?? Well so am I. I have not spoken to him since last Friday around 6 pm when he suddenly called to cancel our movie plans. He said he would call me back shortly. A week later and I�m still waiting for that call. I think the Grinch stole my Christmas spirit. |
9:33 a.m. || December 12, 2003 |
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Moving day - October 08, 2007 |