I luv my ghetto-countryfied family!
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You know your family is Ghetto/Country when��. 1.The wedding that is supposed to start at 5:00 pm does not start until 6:30. 2.The wedding is scheduled to start at 5:00 pm but your guests don�t arrive until 5:00 pm and the majority of the guest really don�t get there until 5:45pm. 3.The pastor who is performing the ceremony does not arrive until 5:30. 4.All the junior brides maids, ring barer, flower girl, and junior groomsmen are dirty from running around playing before the wedding even starts. 5.The bridesmaid�s dresses are backless when two out of three of them have more rolls than your local bakery. 6.The wedding program looks more like a book. 7.The microphone does not work so you can�t hear the pastor. 8.A woman who claims to be an evangelist decides that she wants to congratulate the couple during the ceremony (even though she is not on the program) then begins preaching on how to find a good man. 9.Another women (who is not on the program either) want to present a plaque to the couple but decide to read both plaques, which are long as hell. 10.The plaques the woman is reading are not really plaques but rather really long ass poems that are inside a cheap ass picture frames. 11.One of the brides son�s decides to smoke a lil weed during the reception with some of the other family members (one of whom is my Dad). 12.You have a bottle of Hypnotic at the wedding (you know I had to get me some too) 13.The biggest women in the room send their kids to get more plates of food so they can take home and they even brought their own grocery bag to put it in. 14.They play the Cha Cha slide during the reception (and you know I had to get my boggie on to that one). 15.They play �In Da Club� by 50 cent during the reception and all the little kids start C-walkin (you know us Cali folks, anytime we can C-walk we do!!). 16.After the reception we go to another local club and the men in the wedding party wear their white suites to the club. Yes, these fools wore their white tuxedo to the club. I really don�t know if this is country or ghetto. Both of the guys who wore their tux�s to the club are from Waterloo, Iowa. I would say they don�t know any better but one of them lives in DC now so he should know better. I had no idea my family was so ghetto/country. Although these are distant family members and most of them are from Iowa. My immediate family is much more conservative. I must admit though I had a good time with my ghetto-countrified family. I even got a chance to met one of my cousins Denico who lives in DC (yea one of the ones who wore the white suit to the club). and you know that�s were I wanna move to. Oh lawd if Denico was not my cousin and was not engaged, I would be all over his FINE ass. As soon as I saw him before the wedding started I told Rie he was hella cute. She was like assume everybody you see is family. Of course I was in denial because I have never seen him before. But sure enough I was introduced to him and there went all my hopes of flirtin my lil tale off. But that�s okay. He is still hella cool and I plan on keeping in touch with him and his fianc�. I really wanted to dislike Denico�s fianc� because I�m jealous that she was able to find such a cutie but she really is a sweet girl. Oh yea before I forget, my Dad was the one who brought the weed to the wedding and was passing the joint around to fellow family members (yes joint, my dad is 50 and knows nothing about blunts). Later that night when we went to the club, somebody please tell me why the FUCK my Dad was there. How embarrassing is that?? Some of ya�ll may think that it is cool to party with your parents, but not when your parent is as old as my Dad is. And my Dad is not one of those cool Dad�s who wears trendy clothes, hell he is still be sportin those velcro tennis shoes with the two straps. And he wore his suit to the club too. This club is so laid back that they allow you to wear jeans so you know my dad with his bald head, black suit and full gray beard stood out like a soar thumb. So you can imagine how embarrassed I was when I walked in and there he was standin in line at the bar (yes he is a drunk too). Of course I got my free drink for the night, who cares if it was my Dad who had to buy it, it saved me $7.00. I guess I�m screwed on both ends, my Mom�s side of the family is just f*cked up and my Dad�s side is ghetto-countrified. Oh Lucky Me!! I heard thatOscar worked at this club and sure enough I saw his fine ass. It was awkward because I was not drunk and the last encounter I had with him I was rubbin all over his beautiful body (that was after 2 crown-n-cokes). I din�t know how to act while I was sober. I heard that Ronnie was in the club too but I never did bump into him and he never did call me. Why the F*ck do guys do that?? Get your number but never use it. Don�t stroke my ego only to turn around and slap me in the face. Oh and don't get me started on Terry, I will save that stroy for another day. I know I�ve said it before but --- Ugh�.Men!!! |
11:45 a.m. || June 23, 2003 |
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Moving day - October 08, 2007 |