I got the short end of the Dad stick
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There are days that I often wonder how I ended up with the short end of the stick. Not everything in my life is bad. But unfortunately, I compare myself to other people in my family or around me and am left often wondering, why me? A few weeks ago, I went to see the man that donated his sperm to my Mom so that I can exist. I often refer to this man as my Dad. I went to see my Dad so that I can have him do my taxes. A service he has been providing for me free of charge since I got my very first W-2. My Dad owns his own tax and financial service, yet 2 out of 3 of his kids mismanage the hell out of money. You would think that a man who helps people get their money together would be able to spread a little of his knowledge to his own children, right? Wrong! I have learned more from Mr. Man over the past few weeks about savings, mutual funds and retirement than I have from my own father in the past 25 years. As it turns out, I owe IRS a little more than $1600 and this state that I call home over $500. After getting the horrible news from my Dad, I tried hard to hold it in, but I couldn�t. I cried. I am so sick of being in debt that I really just feel like giving up. To top it all off, my Dad pushes a bill for $90 in my face. The cost for me to sit in front of him for all of 40 minutes (I waited about 15 of those minutes and the other 10 minutes he spent in the bathroom throwing up a bad lunch he had). He now wants me to pay him for doing my taxes. It took everything in me not to cuss his ass out. The one person who has never done his share of caring for his children expected me to pay him. The man that refused to help put his kids through college wanted me to pay him. The one person I can never seem to count on wanted money from me. My Dad�s brothers are near complete opposites of him. His brothers are loving, supportive fathers who actually have a relationship with their children. Why can�t one of them be my father? Why did I end up with the unsupportive, cheap ass hole of a father? I pushed the bill back in his face, stood up said Thank you and left. I got in the car and cried some more. I then drove home and tried to sleep. But sleep didn�t come so easy that night. I kept trying to figure out how I was going to get ahead. My options don�t seem too good. I can (a.) give my WONDERFUL car that I absolutely LOVE back and get something a little more affordable (b.) Move in with my Mom and brother and be miserable (c.) Get a roommate (d.) Get a job with the county making about 6K more a year and HATE my job (e.) Get a more permanent part time job. I have not decided yet what I�m going to do. None of them seem like very good options to me. I listen to this radio show everyday on my drive home called the D.ave Ram.sey show. The host, Da.ve Ram.sey is a man who had gotten himself into a financial pit hole and was able to dig himself out, build wealth and now pays cash for everything. Dave gives me hope. After listening to him for months, I know what I have to do. Just have not figured out how I am going to get it done when every time I turn around, I am owing someone money. Along with the more than $2000 dollars I owe in taxes, I also have a $400 dental bill and $400 dollars that I owe to my former job for a mistake that they made. All of these debts fell into my lap last over the last two months. The timing could not have been worse. I still have to register my car ($268), get my oil changed ($30) find out why the hell my damn brake light won�t turn off ($50+), pay my Mom back ($200) and pray to God that nothing bad happens in the next few months. All the while, I am expected to pay rent, make my car payment, pay my phone bill and keep the electricity in my apartment on. And Buppie wondered why I did not go on shopping spree when we were in LA. Well, now you know. Shopping is now only a dream of mine. Like I said, how the hell am I going to get ahead? And still, my Dad wants me to pay him. Yesterday, I got the bill that I originally left in his office from him in the mail. Along with the bill was a note from him that went something like this: In the e-mail that I plan to send to the ass hole, I have every intention on pointing out all the times that he did not support his kids, did not call us on our birthdays, did not send us packages when we were more than 3000 miles from our family and called us only every blue moon when he was drunk. He never took us on his elaborate vacations to Costa Rica, Ghana, Hawaii, Chicago, Las Vegas, or the Bahamas (just to name a few). He always managed to have enough money to take whatever women he was dating with him. But never his kids. Despite the elaborate yearly vacations, he could only manage to give my Mom $250 to care for us (note: $250 total not $250 for each of us) Not once in the 5.5 years that I was in college or the 4.5 years my brother was in school did he bother to fly us home for Christmas or summer breaks. Whenever we need something, we always turn to Mom. She always ask how come we don�t ask our Dad�because we know after years of dealing with him that he is not dependable. He needs to know that he has never ever been the dependable parent. It makes no sense that we live in the same city, only about 10 miles apart yet I only see and talk to him at family functions. He feels more like an out of town uncle than my own father. I never ask my Dad for anything. Only once a year I ask him to take care of my taxes for me, which is one simple form (obviously I have no deductions). And now, he can�t even do that. He wants to know why I don�t think he should get paid�. I�m gonna tell him why. He may hate me afterwards�but then the feelings may be mutual. |
1:46 p.m. || March 24, 2005 |
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